Wednesday, November 30, 2005

triggers...

... Going to have lunch with my Dad today. There is always part of me that expects some bad news. I discussed this with the boss earlier. The words "James, can I have a word with you" and similar versions have the ability to strike a chill in my heart. She, the boss, had said these words because she just wanted to talk about the arrangements for my Masters next year. I had to explain that my initial reaction is always fear. Its the fear of being found out and told off for something I don't know I have done. This could be hang over from my younger life when there were a few misdemeanors - a healthy teenage interest in top shelf literature, burning down a few nearby farms, overthrowing some minor South American democracies, the usual stuff - which have now been either forgiven or forgotten (Clement Freud, the gourmand, former MP and quiz show panelist says that he never forgives but because he is getting old he does forget). But somewhere deep deep inside there is the apprehension that someone will find out something I did 30 years ago, wave it under my nose (metaphorically of course - I'm not sure you could literally wave the blighted lives of a few million south americans under a nose. Maybe you could do it one by one using a large crane with a net or a very large pair of (cushioned) barbecue tongs. But the queue for a few million people would be very very long and you'd need to bring in catering and possibly shelter (depending which time of year, of course). The transport arrangements would be very complicated as they would, probably, have to come across the Atlantic. For such a large number the use of a pre-fabricated travelator would really be perfect. i had hoped that when they built the new millenial footbridges across the Thames they would have added travelators - a really fun way to travel (natch) and very helpful for doing panoramic video shots of the London or railway lines (depending on what your own personal interest is. Thom, the bright nearly 4 old, is, as previously mentioned, obsessed with trains. So for his birthday on the 27th December, we'll probably just get on a train and see where it takes us. As we will be down at my Dad's (in Budleigh) we'll have the full play of South West trains.)))))

.. so anyway, lunch with Dad and whenever we see each other outside of seasonal visits, I fear news of bad import.

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